I just don't see why you want to solve a problem that doesn't exist !!!
You know...we really need to do something about this bigfoot problem !! There is a consensus that if we can't get the bigfoot under control soon, they will over run every available square foot of playground in the whole world. Just think what the world would be like if there were no more playgrounds. Think of the poor little children.
I want everyone to call up their Congressmen and demand something be done about the overpopulation of bigfoot. DEMAND that they create laws to control the bigfoot.
Encourage them to tax anyone who might generate bigfoot food. Did you know that even one ounce of uneaten food left on the counter unattended for even a minute can feed a family of bigfoot for a year? In that year, a pair of bigfoot will produce 72 million more bigfoot offspring ! Something must be done.
President Obama is on board and is offering legislation that will eliminate the bigfoot problem over the course of ten years at a cost of several trillion dollars that may help. Now, this money will only go to certain companies that make large donations, but rest assured that they will do everything possible to come up with a sustainable answer. I understand that most of these companies will never produce anything except large windfalls for the owners of these companies and ever larger donations to re-election campaigns at taxpayer expense, but think of the poor children!!
It;s time for you to do your part about the bigfoot problem. I have oddles of neato sounding reports from scientists that needed grants to stay around and all we need to do is spread the word!! This can be most easily done by getting some people in Hollywood and enlisting a bunch of college kids looking for something to protest. Remember, we don't want anyone who can actually comprehend critical thinking, or history, or geology,or economics or weather patterns.
Blah blah blah.